I'm the Victim Here!
by Kurenai Sakeme
Summary: It's almost April Fool's Day, and Yusuke has planned to prank everyone on the days leading up to the first of April. But when everyone gets mad at him, his wedding is called off and the others plan a giant prank to get him back! YusKei, HB, KurShiz,YukKu
1. The Wedding is OFF!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.

Authoress Note: Hello! I know it's not April Fool's Day yet, but I figured that if I posted this on the first there'd already be twenty other fics like this, and then I'd be less likely to get readers because there were so many. Anyway, I hope this is one of the more original of these types of fics, if others have written them, which I imagine they have. Enjoy!

Chapter One

The Wedding is OFF!

March 28th, Tokyo Suburbs. Six years after the series ended…

"Oh Urameshi, this is gonna be awesome! Imagine how funny Kurama's gonna look!" squealed Kuwabara. "He'll never know what hit him!"

"No need to compliment my perfect plan!" Yusuke said pompously, adjusting the screen of what looked like a small TV.

"Actually Urameshi, would you mind explaining it one more time? I want to know _exactly_ what's happening when it's happening!"

"No problem," said Yusuke, sitting back in his chair. He was obviously more than happy to repeat his dastardly plan, and, in turn, show it off. "Keiko and Kurama were meeting at mine and Keiko's house today to work on the plans for the wedding. Kurama called the other day and said that he'd be getting there a few minutes sooner than Keiko, because his college was closer to our house and he was just going to go straight to our house and wait for Keiko after school. Since he'll get there first, I suspended a giant pot of baked beans above the door, and rigged it so that when the door opens, the pot will flip over and dump out on whoever is beneath it. Namely, Kurama. And, all the while, me and you will be sitting here in my neighbor's living room, watching the whole thing courtesy of Yusuke's April Fool's Day JokeVision."

"Oh Urameshi, this is gonna be SWEET!" exclaimed Kuwabara, leaning forward to look at the small screen. The prank was set up; a large metal pot was poised above the door to Yusuke and Keiko's small home, held up by a complicated-looking system of ropes and pulleys and things.

"This is just Prank One in the series of them I'm going to be playing this year. I'm getting everyone! Keiko, Botan, Kurama, Hiei, Koenma…"

"Hey, wait a minute! You'd better not be planning to play a trick on me!"

"Never, Kuwabara."

"You'd better not be lying!"

Yusuke looked saddened. "You don't trust me, do you?"

"Shut up, I hear something from the TV!" Kuwabara exclaimed, obviously avoiding answering Yusuke's question.

Indeed, someone had called the house and the answering machine picked up. Yusuke fiddled with a little dial on the side of the compact TV and the message became suddenly more audible.

"Hey! You've reached Yusuke and Keiko, who are now happily engaged! Obviously we're not here right now, so leave a message after the beep!"

"I told her to change that, it makes us sound pathetic," mumbled Yusuke.

"Sh!" ordered Kuwabara, listening carefully.

"Beep,"

"Hey, Keiko. This is Kurama. Listen, I got stuck in traffic on my way to your house, so if I'm not there when you get home, I'll be there soon. Bye."

"Oh, no! Keiko'll kill me if that stuff lands on her! But if I open the door, it'll land on _me!_ Who will it be! Her, or me!"

Deciding to spare Yusuke of the pain of having to make such a decision, Kuwabara pointed out that Kurama was technically closer to the house, even if he was in traffic, so he'd still probably get there first. He's probably just called as a precaution.

"You're right, and if Keiko does get there first, she shouldn't be _that_ mad. Baked beans don't stain, do they?"

"I don't think so."

Little did the boys know, baked beans _do_ stain, and they take absolutely FOREVER to get out. Most of the time, something stained by even a little of the sauce is long-lost, let alone if a garment is completely covered in them, which is what will probably happen when a large pot of those vile beans is dumped on your head.

So the two waited for a while until they heard the faint jangle of keys from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of the key turning in the lock.

_'Don't be Keiko, don't be Keiko…'_ Yusuke thought over and over, watching anxiously as the door began to open. A brown shoe came through the door, followed by a blue skirt and then all of a certain brown-haired, chocolate-eyed woman stepped in, carrying something that was on a hanger, covered by a white plastic protector.

"NO!" Yusuke screamed, jumping up as though he were going to run and stop the beans from falling, but it was too late. Yusuke watched, stunned, as the pot of beans teetered ominously before tipping all the way over, dumping out all of it's contents. The last bean fell with a sickening _'plop,'_ as Yusuke made to run for the door.

Kuwabara caught him by the forearm, holding him back. "Wait Urameshi! Maybe she won't know it's you if you don't go over there right away!"

As he said this, a bright blue and white banned unfurled from the ceiling, proclaiming brightly, 'April Fool's from Yusuke Urameshi! You should see the look on your face right now!'

The shocked, priceless look that had previously occupied Keiko's face was replaced by one of sheer, unsuppressed, horror. "YUSUKE, YOU'D BETTER START RUNNING!" roared Keiko angrily, using the hand that wasn't holding up whatever was on the hanger to wiped some of the nasty mess off her face.

Yusuke ran from the neighbor's house and out into the street, not stopping until he'd reached his own yellow house and had yanked open the door, which had closed behind Keiko. She turned around to face them, her face red with fury.

"Do you know what's on this hanger? Hm? IT'S THE WEDDING DRESS! IF ONE DROP OF THAT MESS GOT ON IT, I SWEAR!"

"Wait, didn't you pay for that on _my_ credit card? Is it refundable?" Yusuke questioned desperately, clearly not concerned that the dress might be stained.

"The fact that my dress could be ruined is more important than your bank account, Yusuke!" she yelled, walking over the coffee table, leaving a trail of beans and sauce on the carpet as she moved. Kurama walked through the open door, which had obviously not closed behind Yusuke, and surveyed the mess before him. Stepping carefully over the bean-covered threshold, he crossed the room to where the couple was standing, Keiko beginning to remove the brown-covered plastic cover over something on a hanger.

Once the cover was all the way off, she laid it down on the table and put her face in her hands, crying softly. It was clear the white weddingdress had been pretty pre-prank, but some of the beans had come into the covering through the hole in the top that the hanger came out through, and the dress had been so long that the covering had not covered it all the way, resulting in a brown-dotted hem. The dress itself was relatively simple, a strapless gown with a soft, mesh-type fabric ruffled along the bodice until the waistline, where the skirt belled out prettily. The bodice had also been dotted with sauce and beans that had entered through the top.

Kurama winced when he saw it, laying a hand hesitantly on Keiko's shoulder since he didn't really want to get the messy beans on his hand. "Isn't it bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding day?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit by reminding her that she now had a superstitious excuse to get a new dress on top of the obvious one.

"It doesn't matter," Keiko sobbed, lifting her face from her hands. She looked terrible, with her bean-matted hair and poorly wiped-off face."It doesn't matter anymore, because the wedding is OFF." Beans and sauce mixed with tears as she tore her engagement ring off of her finger and through it out the open living-room window.

"I paid for that on my credit card, too!" Yusuke shouted, running for the door. Rustling was heard in the bush below the windowsill as he searched for the diamond ring he'd given Keiko. "Found it!" he declared, standing back up. "Here, Keiko, you know you didn't mean that! Here's your ring back; a simple prank-gone-wrong is no reason for us to stop loving each other!" He said this while holding the ring out to his ex-wife-to-be through the window. It was covered in the soil that had stuck to it due to the sauce from the beans.

"No, Yusuke. I've had enough of your stupid jokes! Enough, enough, ENOUGH!" she turned and ran for the bathroom, sobbing uncontrollably.

"What did you mean, 'prank-gone-wrong?'" inquired Kurama skeptically, walking toward the window. Yusuke put the ring in his pocket and hung his head, his arms limp at his sides as the fact that the love of his life had just left him took effect on him.

"You were supposed to get the beans dumped on you, but she beat you here." admitted Yusuke solemnly.

Kurama's lips tightened and he planted both hands on Yusuke's chest careful to smear the sauce that had wiped off onto him when he'd touched Keiko's shoulder. Putting his full weight behind it, he pushed Yusuke back into the bushes, then turned on his heel to go down the hallway to the bathroom door, planning on yelling consoling words to the heartbroken woman.

As Yusuke was sitting back up, clutching his ribs, Kuwabara meandered down the street.

"What'd I miss?" he asked. He was carrying the mini TV that had served as their surveillance outlet.

"Keiko dumped me and Kurama's super-pissed."

"Oh."

"What took you?"

Kuwabara smiled and pulled a chocolate-ship cookie out of his pocket. "Neighbor-lady made cookies for us. I saved you this one since you'd already left."

Yusuke took it and bit into it's gooey softness. "Thanks, Kuwabara. I needed that. But don't think I'm not going to still get you this year just because we had a little bonding moment."

"Aw, darn."

* * *

There it was! Did you like it? Review, please, and I'll add more! 


	2. Of Bodies and Silly String

Disclaimer: Let it be knownst that I OWN NOTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT YYH!

Authoress Note: Not much to be said, except that the prank Yusuke plays on Kuwabara is from real life. I'll explain better at the bottom…I don't want to give anything away.

* * *

Chapter Two

Of Bodies and Silly-String

(March 29th, Tokyo Suburbs: Six years after the series ended…)

It seemed like an average, everyday morning for Kurama as he opened his eyes and laid silently in his bed for a moment, listening to the birds' cheerful singing and the silence that prevailed inside of his apartment, which he'd rented when he'd enrolled at college instead of having a roommate in those dirty dormitories. Remembering he had to prepare for his Chemistry class at the university, the red-head sat up in bed, rubbing his temples for a moment before swinging his legs over to the side of his bed and standing, stretching toward the ceiling.

As previously mentioned, things were completely normal. Silent apartment, chattering birds. So, it was quite unexpected when he stumbled down the hall and into his bathroom, (Still only in the boxers he'd slept in…fangirls like me may swoon now…) where he opened the door, switched on the light, and looked at his reflection in the mirror as something triggered a huge arsenal of silly-string cans, which were aimed at his head level.

Once the bombardment was over, Kurama looked blankly into the mirror, still unsure of what had happened in his early morning grogginess. Blinking twice, he suddenly noticed the twenty-or-so cans hanging around the room, aimed directly at his hair. Next he noticed that his hair was almost completely hidden by mounds and mounds of silly-string in all the pastel colors it came in. His normally long, flowing tresses were covered in varying shades of light green, pink, blue, and yellow.

Not believing what he was seeing, his brain automatically blaming the occurrence on early-morning grogginess, Kurama shook his head a few times and blinked some more. His reflection didn't change, and the cans that were hanging around his head were still there.

_'Who did this!'_ the kitsune wondered, getting angry. He started picking the awful stuff from his hair, trying to get as much out as possible._ 'Wait…there's only one person who I can even consider suspecting who'd play a trick like this before April Fool's Day, and that one person is…'_

"YUSUKE!" Kurama screamed. "IF THIS LITTLE TRICK-WEEK KEEPS UP, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY FRIENDS BY THE FIRST!"

He was pulling at the matted silly-string wig almost violently now, tiny bits of his own hair sometimes coming with the sticky string, most of which had already begun to harden on his head.

Yusuke walked into the apartment as Kurama was yanking at his hair, laughing uncontrollably. "You look so ridiculous!" he cried, doubling over. "I thought you looked stupid over my cameras, but in person you're simply _priceless!_"

"You'd better not have taped this, Yusuke!" Kurama yelled back. "And if you did, then I think I deserve to dispose of it myself!"

Yusuke straightened up, his peals of laughter subsiding for a moment. "Oh, no. No matter how good a friend you may be, that is one wish that I, unfortunately, cannot respect. You see, last night as I was crying myself to sleep in the Days Inn down the road, I turned on the TV, and there was this guy with weird gray hair and an ugly suit who was on a translated American show. Now, as his dubber was babbling on and on about nothing in particular, I happened to hear from the announcer that they were running a world-wide contest to see who could get the best reaction for an April-Fool's Day trick. The winner gets a million dollars. I'm going to win that million dollars, and then Keiko will be powerless to resist!"

"Yusuke, I don't think Keiko's that shallow. You really hurt her yesterday, being more concerned with your credit report than her feelings. Money isn't going to fix this."

"You stopped being mad awful quick." noted Yusuke.

"Oh, yeah. WHY DID YOU DO THAT, YOU RETARD! Any second now, man-eating plants are going to start sprouting from my-"

Before Kurama could finish his sentence, a very scary-looking plant emerged from his silly-string head covering, snapping at a fly that was buzzing around the room.

"-head." the redhead finished.

"What the-?" inquired Yusuke, looking at the evil plant with an odd expression.

"The same thing happened a few years ago, but I managed to get away from the ningens before they noticed. You see, there are three chemicals in silly-string that are also found in fertilizer, so when that stuff penetrates the seeds in my hair, they sprout out of control. And whose fault is it this time!" Kurama tone changed from exasperated to angry in a matter of milliseconds. "Yusuke, you'd better start apologizing!"

"America's Funniest Home Videos is gonna LOVE this!"

* * *

Several hours later, Yusuke had sustained over twenty bites from various violent plants as he helped Kurama pick the silly-string mess from his hair. Finally, it was all out, lying all over Kurama's bathroom floor in chunks mixed with the kitsune's own hair. 

"Finally," murmured Kurama tiredly, closing his eyes for a moment. The plants started to recede, turning back into the seeds that were almost permanent residents of his hair.

"Now that that's under control, shall we watch the tape?" inquired Yusuke breezily.

"That tape will never be seen by anyone!" yelled Kurama angrily. He stalked off into his room, pulling on a shirt and pants quickly upon remembering that he hadn't had the time to change before then. "Oh great," he said, as he remembered something else that he'd been kept from due to the silly-string fiasco, "I had Chemistry and Foreign Language classes this morning."

Yusuke was sitting on Kurama's bed. A blank expression overtook his face, as though he didn't see where Kurama was coming from. "At the university? So what; you miss a day. Big deal."

"Yeah, but I've missed so much because of missions and stuff that now I need a doctor to call the school. If I don't show again, they could suspend or expel me." explained Kurama. "And, I'm not sick. What do I do?"

"The solution is simple," said Yusuke airily. "Let me call for you."

"No, you'd screw it up, and then they'd really expel me. What's more, if they find out it was you they could have you arrested for impersonating a doctor."

"How're they going to find out it was me? And either way you get expelled, so isn't it worth a shot?"

Kurama pondered this. "Well, I suppose. But screw this up and die, Yusuke. Mother is displeased with my dip in test scores as it is; she was angry enough when they dropped while I was helping Yomi. Now that I'm in college, her wrath is even worse."

Yusuke picked the phone up from it's cradle on Kurama's nightstand. "Don't worry, I've done this a million times. What's the number?"

"It's number seven on speed-dial."

"'Kay." Yusuke pressed the speed-dial button and then seven, then put the phone to his ear and waited.

"Kamekura University, Seika speaking." came the answer of a calm-sounding young secretary.

Yusuke scrunched up his face and started to talk, though the voice that came wasn't Yusuke's at all. It was way deeper, more official, authoritative, doctorly,and to top it off…_responsible-_sounding. Kurama's jaw dropped as he listened to his friend speak.

"Yes, this is Dr. Yamura speaking, I have a patient here; Minamino Shuichi? He's a student at your college, and he has a terrible case of laryngitis."

"Hold on a second, I need to bring up his file real quick." there was rapid typing heard in the background, and then the girl came back on. "Yes, we have a Minamino Shuichi on file. He was absent for his two classes this morning, and it's two hours after the last one ended. Why didn't you call sooner?"

"Well, you see, my appointments were booked up until a little while ago, and I could have rushed his appointment if I'd known how bad the case was, but that Shuichi's a trooper, eh? He said it wasn't that bad and had me hold off 'till my other patients were taken care of. Anyway, on to business. I put Shuichi on some antibiotics and he should be well enough to come to school tomorrow, because the contagious period will be over. He just won't be able to say much."

"That's okay, tell Mr. Minamino that he can stay out as long as he needs to, since his absence is excused due to illness. It was a pleasure speaking to you, Dr. Yamura. Tell Shuichi to get well soon."

"Will do. Have a nice day, Seika."

"Bye."

"Bye-bye."

Yusuke hung up. Kurama still hadn't righted his jaw.

"What was _that?_" he asked, his eyes wide. "That was _amazing!_ If your post as spirit detective doesn't work out, you should seriously consider becoming a voice actor! That was awesome! You sounded _responsible!_"

Yusuke looked odd. "Wait, are you suggesting I'm not responsible?"

* * *

It was evening, and Kuwabara was out having fun at a bar in the city, talking to a few of his old school buddies, whom he hadn't seen in a while. It was at this time when Yusuke entered, pale-faced and desperate-looking. 

"Kuwabara, I need to talk to you out in the parking lot. Alone."

"Okay, sure Urameshi. What's got you so pale?"

"Just c'mon." Yusuke looked freaked-out and quite grave at the same time.

"Hey guys, I'll be back, okay?"

"Sure, Kuwabara!" came one's gleeful reply.

Kuwabara followed Yusuke out into the parking lot, taking note of how stiffly his friend was walking, and how hunched his shoulders were. Yusuke led his friend to his car, pulling out his keys and opening the trunk. Inside was a motionless, dark figure wrapped in blue tarp.

"It was an accident, I swear! He was dressed dark…it's so late…he's so young! What parent would let their kid out so late…oh, what do I do Kuwabara!" Yusuke was starting to get desperate, his voice was cracking realistically.

"Oh my god, Urameshi! What did you do?"

"I was just driving, and then he ran out in front of me! It was an accident, I swear it!"

Kuwabara took a deep breath. "Okay, here's what we're gonna do," he began, taking charge of the delicate situation, "help me get him to my house. I have a couple shovels, we'll bury him in my backyard, then go to the bar, have a couple drinks, and think about this, okay? No one will ever have to know."

The color had drained from Kuwabara's face, and he looked quite scared indeed. It was at this fragile moment in time when Yusuke started laughing.

_"Oh no!"_ thought Kuwabara, looking at his friend in an alarmed manner._ "Yusuke's gone crazy from the guilt of killing an innocent little kid on accident! What do I do now!"_

"Er, Yusuke," he said uneasily, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder. "it was an accident, and accidents happen. You don't have to go crazy, it's all right. No one has to know." 

Kuwabara's reassurances were met with fresh peals of unsuppressed laughter. Yusuke was now doubled-over, laughing hysterically.

"Kuwabara, it's a _joke!_" Yusuke managed to choke out.

"WHAT? Urameshi!" Kuwabara reached out and ripped back the tarp. Lying in the trunk was a dead pig. Though it was certainly an unpleasant sight, it was far from the unpleasantness of the sight of the body of a little kid in your best friend's trunk.

"OH MY GOD URAMESHI, YOU KILLED A POOR PIGGY!"

"No, Kuwabara! I was dropping it off at a friend's house because they're having a pig roast. I was just borrowing it to play this awesome joke on you! Oh, this is gonna win that contest, I know it!" Yusuke was still laughing so hard, it was wracking his whole body, and his breathing was labored.

Kuwabara blinked, absorbing this new information. When it fully sunk in, he jumped into a stiffer stance and started yelling random things at Yusuke about how bad a friend he was to scare him like that.

"You're gonna pay, Urameshi!" vowed Kuwabara angrily, throwing the tarp back over the pig. "You will!"

"Sure, Kuwabara, sure. Your face was just priceless, though!"

Kuwabara, made even more agitated by this comment, stomped back off into the bar, where he sulked around by the bar, much to the confusion of his friends, considering he'd been fine before he'd gone outside.

"Maybe Urameshi beat him up. They used to be enemies, right?" whispered one behind his hand to another.

"Maybe, but wouldn't he look all messed up?"

"Good point."

"Oh well. We'll never know what goes on in Kuwabara's head, will we?"

"Nope."

* * *

How was it? By the way, the pig in the trunk thing really happened. My dad's best friend got my dad with it. Anyway, review please! 


	3. Simple as Pink and Black

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.

Authoress Note: Wow, three chapters in a row! I'm on a roll! Anyway, Enjoy! This might be one of the not-as-good-as-the-rest chapters, but I know Hisan had been waiting patiently for it, so I put it up anyway. This may be revised and/or extended later. More updates to come soon!

Chapter Three

Simple as Pink and Black

(March 30th, Reikai: Six years after the series ended.)

It was a normal morning for Botan. She was awakened by the sound of ogres walking past her room on business and such, and by the quiet, mulled rushing of the massive River Styx, which was visible from her window. Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she reached for the black book that she kept next to her bed when she was asleep, the one that told her whose soul to take. (When the gang wasn't on a mission, she resumed her normal duties.)

Reading the latest entries, which the book itself added overnight, she grimaced. Among several natural deaths was one murder, one suicide, and an accident involving a speedboat. Pleasant. Yawning, Botan sat up and got out of bed, stretching before walking over to her closet, pulling the robe she'd slept in closer around her body. Throwing open her closet, she prepared to pick out one of her pink kimonos, which she usually wore when on duty for Reikai. What she saw, however, was each and every one of her kimonos covered in patches of black dye.

Her face slowly started to turn red with anger and realization. Someone had snuck into her rooms last night when she was asleep and stolen her kimonos, staining them with the black and then returning them carefully. Curse that Tequila that she'd just _had_ to have! Normally the ferry girl was a very light sleeper, but even a glass of wine made her sleep like a baby through the night. Damn alcohol.

Anyway, her face now a brilliant shade of crimson, Botan let out a frustrated cry and stomped over to her dirty-clothes hamper, where she'd thrown her kimono from the day before. A dirty kimono, she decided, was better than a stained one, but when she got to the wicker hamper and opened it, she noticed her black-dye wielding friend had thought of that. At the bottom of the hamper was a pink-striped box, with the words, "Victoria's Secret," on it. Curious, she picked it up. She'd never heard of anything like that, but when she opened it up she lifted it's contents up before her eyes in utter horror.

"What in the…" she muttered, her eyes wide. Before her was a baby pink lingerie nightgown with black lace sewn onto the top and along the spaghetti-strap shoulders. It looked like it covered only what needed to be covered to remain PG-13 rated.

"AGH! Only one person would do this! There's only one man in all three worlds who A, knows me, B, is perverted, and C, is OBSESSED WITH APRIL FOOL'S DAY! YUSUKE URAMESHI, COME OUT SO I CAN KILL YOU!"

Yusuke burst through the door, laughing hysterically.

"You should've seen yourself! My GOD was that good!"

"Yusuke, do you know how much those kimonos cost? You'd better hope those stains come out, or you're paying for replacements!" Botan summoned her oar, preparing to strike at any time.

Yusuke didn't look worried. "I know how expensive kimonos are, Botan. And I also know that those kimonos are standard Reikai-issue. So HA!" Yusuke had stopped laughing for the moment and wore a triumphant look. "Besides, it's just a joke. No hard feelings, right?"

A dark look overcame Botan's face. "No…hard…feelings…? Of course, Yusuke. NO. HARD. FEELINGS. WHAT. SO. EVER!" With each syllable at the end of her statement, she hit Yusuke with the oar, harder each time. On the last time, the paddle part broke off with a resounding _'crack.'_

Yusuke had now been beaten to the floor. Taking the opportunity, he scrambled away, rubbing his head as he stood. Botan was looking blankly from the jagged stump of wood in her hands to the flat part that had once been connected. Back and forth she looked for a minute before looking up and over to Yusuke and yelling, "NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

Yusuke inched toward the door, feeling for the knob. "Well, Botan, no matter how much I'd _love_ to stay and chat, I have prior engagements to attend to. See ya later!" Yusuke, who had found the knob, turned and threw open the door, tearing off at full speed.

* * *

Botan walked into Koenma's office looking quite miserable. But her expression was only the beginning. 

With no other option since she left her human clothes with Genkai, Botan had been forced to borrow clothes from Hinageshi, since the Reikai-issue kimonos had to be ordered from the workshops. And ridiculous doesn't even begin to cover it.

The wraparound white shirt, which was normally secured by the high pants, was too short and was tied with a makeshift sash. It was a belly-shirt on the tall woman. The pants, which were red miko-style ones supposed to be worn up past the belly-button, were like hip-huggers and barely went down past Botan's knees. The effect was a very skimpy priestess.

Koenma looked his worker up and down with wide eyes, leaning over to the ogre and whispering a bit too loudly, "Man, I never would've though _Botan_ would be into that kind of thing. But honestly, strippers dressed as priestesses? What is the world coming to?"

"I am NOT a stripper!" Botan shouted, stomping up to the desk. "I had to borrow Hinageshi's clothes because mine were all ruined!"

Koenma sat back and said,"Oh, sorry." in a tone that clearly said he wasn't. God, he was annoying sometimes.

"Koenma, I've had a really bad day. PLEASE say I can use a vacation day!" Botan's tone was strained, embarrassed, and exasperated al at once. She seemed to ignore Koenma's not beleiving her.

"Sure, we'll have Ayame cover things for you. Just don't have too much fun, Botan…"

"I AM NOT A STRIPPER!"

* * *

It was a normal morning for Hiei. He woke up, the birds were singing, the tree's leaves were rustling slightly in the breeze, and there was a mirror nailed to the bark on the tree. 

Wait, that wasn't normal. That wasn't normal at all.

Hiei looked puzzled as he sat up all the way and leaned forward. Then a look of pure horror overtook his face, and he fell not-so gracefully from the tree.

Yusuke was leaning up against the bottom, laughing at a tiny portable TV set, playing and replaying something twice before setting it down and jogging over to the bush Hiei had landed in. The fire demon was sprawled out with his eyes closed in the bush. It now was apparent why he'd fallen.

The whitish part of his hair, which was normally just a shiny white, had been dyed a horrific shade of hot pink.

Yusuke continued to laugh insanely.

"Detective," Hiei growled dangerously, not opening her eyes or getting up, "Why aren't you running yet?"

"Because as soon as I reveal an important tidbit of info, you won't hate me anymore."

"And why is that?" Hiei's eyes snapped open.

Yusuke pulled a pink bottle that matched the shade of Hiei's hair. He brandished it out at Hiei. "This stuff comes out after 1 washing! It's only temporary!"

"Move your thumb, detective." Hiei said, sitting up. Yusuke obliged, and Hiei's expression darkened considerably, save for a malicious glint in his crimson eyes. "Detective," he said slowly and murderously, "That says '100'. Not '1'. I HAVE TO WASH MY HAIR ONE HUNDRED GODDAMN TIMES!"

Yusuke turned the bottle around. "Heh, er, Hiei, it was an honest mistake, I swear! I found it in Keiko's medicine cabinet! I must've covered the other two zeros with my thumb when I borrowed it, too!"

Hiei was now standing and advancing on Yusuke slowly. Yusuke was stepping back at the same speed.

Yusuke considered his escape options and came up empty. "Oh, crap."

* * *

So, how was it? I hope you all liked it, please review! -turns into hobo holding out a tin can- Reviews for the poor? 


	4. Of the Apocolypse and Video Games

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.

Authoress Note: This is the last chapter before Yusuke gets pranked! Aren't you all so excited? Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Read and review!

* * *

Chapter Four

D-Day

It was a normal morning for Koenma. Wake up, get dressed, boss ogre around, go to office, stamp papers for hours on end. Everything was simple and ordinary. Until….

"OH MY GOD KOENMA, THERE ARE DEMONS INVADING NINGENKAI! THEY'RE TAKING OVER!" An out-of-breath Yusuke yelled this as he stumbled into Koenma's office. "It's the end of the world thing you were talking about during the Sensui incident! The one you were supposed to be saving the Mafukan for!"

Koenma poofed into human form and got out of his desk chair, looking alarmed. "Are you sure!"

"Positive! There's no other explanation!"

"Ogre!" yelled Koenma. "Call on the armies! The Mafukan isn't strong enough yet to save Ningenkai, we need to stall! How could this be happening so ahead of schedule!"

The ogre nodded and hurried off, looking as though he felt important.

"What can the ogres do against A and S-class demons?" questioned Yusuke.

"WHAT!" screamed Koenma. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!"

"Yes! They're all almost as strong as me!"

"NO!" shouted Koenma in a distressed tone. "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO! NINGENKAI IS DOOMED!"

All of a sudden thunderous marching was heard and an army of blue men started to head for a portal being opened by several ferry girls. (You could see all this through the open office door.) They were outfitted in outfits resembling Koenma's, and looked absolutely ridiculous. Koenma was on the verge of crying. He ripped out his pacifier and started to yell at it in an act of temporary insanity.

"WORK DAMMIT! I'M GONNA GROUND YOU FOR FOREVER IF YOU DON'T YOU RETARDED MAFUKAN! WHY DID YOU LET ME BRING BACK AMANUMA! YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!"

Obviously, the pacifier did not reply.

It was at this opportune time that Yusuke decided to yell, "APRIL FOOL'S!" and run away before he could be thrown in Reikai prison. He was laughing the entire way.

Koenma stared blankly at the door Yusuke had slammed shut as he left. Then his face turned red. His hands shook. His eyes slowly turned bloodshot. And he ran after the detective at full speed, which was pretty fast but not fast enough.

* * *

It was a normal morning for Genkai. Wake up, get dressed, go to kitchen, plop down groggily in chair, eat breakfast Yukina made, and then go and play video games.

Video games were more than a favorite pastime for the old woman, they were her sole source of entertainment during the day when Yukina normally went out for walks and such. Before Yukina had arrived at the temple and Genkai had been all alone, the games had been all she'd had to do besides drink tea, walk around, and breathe. Before Yusuke had shown up, they had, literally, been her life. The man at the electronics store practically expected her every time a new fighting game came out, though he still thought it odd that a woman her age would be interested in Goblin City and Mortal Combat. The fact still remained, however, that she did.

All of her games were kept in a special room in the temple, appropriately named 'The Game Room.' There were multiple TV's, each with a different game console hooked up to them. In other parts of the room were pinball tables, arcade games, and everything else that the local arcade no longer needed. Once a game lost popularity, it was often sold off to Genkai for a few thousand yen, a steal.

When Genkai entered the Game Room on March 31, she closed the door behind her to block out the radio, which Yukina was listening to, and surveyed the masterpiece of a home arcade that had taken years to bring up to it's present splendor (If you wanted to call it that.) It was tradition that Genkai play the first game she'd ever purchased for the Game Room before anything else, and that game was on the far back wall. It was a rusty old pinball machine that hardly worked, but still lit up dimly and could record high scores.

Genkai plugged it in and started to play, racking up a score of 50000. Hardly her best ever, but definitely something on the old, rusty thing. Vainly trying to see her old high score, she squinted at the dim light display on the machine. What she saw, however, was not what was normally there (_1:Genkai: 5,000,000 pts._) but something very, very different.

1: APRIL FOOL'S: 100 pts.

2: From Yusuke: 2 pts.

Shortly after this appeared and disappeared, the display read:

You have made a First Place Score! Please enter name by pulling on the trigger in the sequence of your name. (Sequencing is alphabetical by kanji, then numbers 1-9, then punctuation.Do not pull trigger for five seconds to create space.)

The game normally held ten high scores, but all had been cleared save for the two top ones.

Genkai's jaw dropped. She didn't even bother punching in her name, she immediately headed over to the arcade game next to her oldest one, an early version of "Mortal Combat." She played a quick game, but the high score table had been erased and replaced with the same message, just with a different point value.

Congratulations! You have beaten the record for this machine! Please enter name by using the joysticks to select--

Still unbelieving, she moved to a different machine and tried again.

Please enter name into High Score Table…

Congrats! You have beaten the Dragon Master…

You rule, man! You beat, like, Tony Hawk!

You have freed the citizens of Goblin City…

Please enter…

Please enter…

Please enter…..

At this point, Genkai had tested all of her games and found that her student had, indeed, taken the time to delete the high scores on all of her games and leave little "April Fool's" messages on them.

The old woman was absolutely furious. No, that's an understatement, actually. There is no word known to me in the English language that covers how mad Genkai was. All her years of building a vast empire of high scores in her own home, all those hours spent wasting away before the screens of her games trying to best her computer opponents, WASTED!

Genkai sank to her knees in the middle of the room and let out a furious, wounded wail. Yukina came running.

"Genkai, are you all right?" she asked earnestly, breathing heavily from running.

"No! Yukina, call the others! They were all pranked too, and it's time we got that Yusuke back." her voice was icy and sharp, and the apparition didn't need to be told twice when Genkai was in a mood like that. Hurrying off to the phone, she picked it up off of the cradle and hit Kurama's number on speed-dial. He picked up after two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Kurama. It's Yukina."

"Oh…hi."

"Genkai wants you and the others to come over. Something about pranks and Yusuke and making noises like a wounded rhinoceros."

"I'll be right over."

"Will you call the others for me? I hear Genkai crying in the other room. I think she's dying or something."

On the other end of the line, Kurama sweat-dropped. "Sure, Yukina."

"Bye."

"Seeya."

* * *

Kinda short, I know, but the next one should be longer. By the way, to those underprivileged fans who missed some of the CN episodes, the Mafukan is Koenma's pacifier. It's supposedly Reikai's greatest weapon, though whether or not it does anything remains to be seen. Anyway, please review! More reviews, more updates! And I decided that this fic will be finished before anything else is updated, all right? Two or three more chapters to go! 


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